Firstly, I want to start off by thanking you all for being patient with me these last few months while I have been taking time off vlogging. I have been taking more videos for vlogs, but not nearly as I would have hoped. I know that one of the main reason for that is because I hate having vlogs that need to be edited pile up. I haven't been able to edit them for many reasons, but these first two are the hardest. These are the two that have Cam in them. This one wasn't as hard as the next (Tyler's birthday) but it still was difficult. But at the same time, it was really nice hearing his voice and seeing him on video again. My goal is to get all my editing done and be back to uploading one a week or so. I think that will help me get back in the mindset and start to take more videos. I know that Cameron would really want me to keep making memories and capturing the moments. I want to keep doing it for him, but first, lets get the ones I have already taken up for you all.
Now, this vlog. I have always loved fall. It was one of my favorite seasons. There is just so much to do! I'm so happy that this year I tried to jam pack a bunch of fall activities into one month. We had a lot of fun as a family. My favorite thing we did though isn't even featured! Cameron and I would pause our regular scheduled programing and every other night we would watch a scary movie. It was so much fun to have those movie nights together. Near the end of the vlog (the pumpkin carving and the trick-or-treating), I did not do well at taking videos. At this point Cameron was in the hospital and my mind was elsewhere. But I am so grateful for wonderful friends and family that stepped in to help us out (which include taking a lot of videos - you will see this in future vlogs).
Updated: Feb 13, 2021
I heard this song and fell in love. This really is what has kept me going, knowing he is sitting with Jesus right now. How amazing that must be. Obviously we miss him so much. Most nights I still cry myself to sleep. I really am still in shock and denial about the whole thing. He can't be gone. He simply is just down in Utah. He will be coming home soon. My brain still can't wrap around the fact that he won't. I miss him so much it hurts. I am glad to say, it has gotten better. I still ache, but compared to those first two weeks, I feel good that I can go most of the day without breaking down sobbing. I have my beautiful kiddos to thank for that. I see him in them everyday and I feel so blessed that he left them behind with me.
I have a couple more vlogs to make for the 2020 season. I'm not sure when I will feel up to making them quite yet, but hopefully soon. I have our Fall Fun and Tyler's birthday, where Cameron will be in most of those. Then our Holiday one, Riley's Birthday, and our last quarter of the year recap (all of our random moments that didn't fit into any other vlogs). I knew that Cameron would want me to keep vlogging, even though I am having a real tough time with it. I keep thinking how blessed we are to have ALL of these videos of him. How blessed we are that even though Riley may forget some things about him and Tyler won't remember him at all, they will be able to watch him on video be a FANTASTIC dad and husband. This is what keeps me going when it comes to taking videos and pictures. I may feel so down and have no desire to anymore (right now), but we never know when will be our last day. So until then, take the pictures, take the videos, capture the memories.
Updated: Feb 13, 2021
How? That's the only word I can think of to describe what I am feeling. HOW? How is my baby boy one year old already?? This year was definitely not what I expected his first year of life to be like, but honestly, I truly believe it is exactly what Heavenly Father wanted. This year we may not have gotten to play at the beach a lot, but we were able to bond as a family, maybe we couldn't go to parks like normal, but every day we were able wake up the 6 of us (Grandma and Grandpa included) and have breakfast together or play with one another. This year flew by. This little boy went from scaring the crap out of me with how he decided to enter this world, to stealing my heart and making me laugh daily. He is such a happy baby and really makes you want to snuggle him as much as possible. He is getting closer and closer to talking and walking and I thought we had exhausting lives now! I can only imagine what they will be like then! Riley loves her little bro and we all can't wait for them to run around outside or down the hall playing make-believe. This little boy has been a blessing from God and has helped make our family complete. This video is all the adventures this little boy got into this year. Hopefully you will enjoy watching it almost as much as we enjoyed living it.
