Updated: Feb 12, 2021
I heard this song and fell in love. This really is what has kept me going, knowing he is sitting with Jesus right now. How amazing that must be. Obviously we miss him so much. Most nights I still cry myself to sleep. I really am still in shock and denial about the whole thing. He can't be gone. He simply is just down in Utah. He will be coming home soon. My brain still can't wrap around the fact that he won't. I miss him so much it hurts. I am glad to say, it has gotten better. I still ache, but compared to those first two weeks, I feel good that I can go most of the day without breaking down sobbing. I have my beautiful kiddos to thank for that. I see him in them everyday and I feel so blessed that he left them behind with me.
I have a couple more vlogs to make for the 2020 season. I'm not sure when I will feel up to making them quite yet, but hopefully soon. I have our Fall Fun and Tyler's birthday, where Cameron will be in most of those. Then our Holiday one, Riley's Birthday, and our last quarter of the year recap (all of our random moments that didn't fit into any other vlogs). I knew that Cameron would want me to keep vlogging, even though I am having a real tough time with it. I keep thinking how blessed we are to have ALL of these videos of him. How blessed we are that even though Riley may forget some things about him and Tyler won't remember him at all, they will be able to watch him on video be a FANTASTIC dad and husband. This is what keeps me going when it comes to taking videos and pictures. I may feel so down and have no desire to anymore (right now), but we never know when will be our last day. So until then, take the pictures, take the videos, capture the memories.
Updated: Feb 12, 2021
How? That's the only word I can think of to describe what I am feeling. HOW? How is my baby boy one year old already?? This year was definitely not what I expected his first year of life to be like, but honestly, I truly believe it is exactly what Heavenly Father wanted. This year we may not have gotten to play at the beach a lot, but we were able to bond as a family, maybe we couldn't go to parks like normal, but every day we were able wake up the 6 of us (Grandma and Grandpa included) and have breakfast together or play with one another. This year flew by. This little boy went from scaring the crap out of me with how he decided to enter this world, to stealing my heart and making me laugh daily. He is such a happy baby and really makes you want to snuggle him as much as possible. He is getting closer and closer to talking and walking and I thought we had exhausting lives now! I can only imagine what they will be like then! Riley loves her little bro and we all can't wait for them to run around outside or down the hall playing make-believe. This little boy has been a blessing from God and has helped make our family complete. This video is all the adventures this little boy got into this year. Hopefully you will enjoy watching it almost as much as we enjoyed living it.
Here is our adventurous summer of 2020. It was fun editing a sunshine vlog while currently the winds outside basically knock the trashcans over. I was able to cram June, July and August all into one vlog! (Even though it is on the longer side). Grab the popcorn and sit back and watch this movie haha. We really enjoyed the sunshine and the short trips we got to make outside of the house.
